GOODBYE from a hosteller

I wake up to this cramped room.. only to realize am running late for my class, and sometimes even to give few minutes to decide whether or not to have my bath seems like a waste of time.i simply rush to the class, wondering what is the point in having a wake up alarm. The class and class mates all of it create their own roller coaster rides..i come back and rush for luch with friends..i keep up with their stories .. the food feels like its it tends towards (à) tasting bad, to mud-like.. but I gobble that too. At the end of the day, after more roller coaster rides, I come back to my room. Sometimes I just sit with a novel, sometimes its music, sometimes it lab work ,sometimes its studies, and many times its movies, sometimes I cry..rolling on that ever-so-hard bed ..sometimes all of us gather in one room and laugh over god-knows-what..

Its not much..its not the best..but u know what…its been MY room…and its been so for FOUR years. I can almost relate to it now.. It has seen my everything, from secret desires,my moments of pride, anguish,jealousy, anger, betrayal,friendship, art,fantasies. my everything.
it has been my abode, THE place where I can come back to..any time, in these four years-MY room.

Hmm people..roomies..friends..there is soo much to talk about them..the variety that exists in the whole lot. From a time when I thought,( as I was packing my stuff back then at home before entering hostel life), these are few of the best clothes-should reserve them for occasions,these are my fav-should maintain them well..etc to coming to realize,all those are simply fantasies. There simply exists no barrier at all.. there was a time when I kept proclaiming “that’s mine, its mine” ..now its NEWS if I get to wear mine.. so many policies and theories each one has and sticks by .. some of it I could relate to,some I could agree happily. And there is a whole lot which I simply couldn’t stand. And just when I was getting used to all the unusuality of people around me.. they declare –college is getting over. You gotta pack and vacate by @#$@.

Hey, but .its was just going well..i was getting used to all this..i need more time, just to experience what I already have..why ..
hmm guess there is no answer to the “why”s .. and u wanna know the funny part, its all gonna happen all over again..in my next phase of life.. and I am supposed to be ready for it and move on..sure thing !! anyway, this is goodbye from me.

my fav lyrics...1

i am just gonna embarass myself by posting a few of my favourite lyrics...

soulmate-
Incompatible, it don't matter though
'cos someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
you're not easy to find

Is it possible Mr. Loveable
is already in my life?
right in front of me
or maybe you're in disguise

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
how do I find the perfect fit
there's enough for everyone
but I'm still waiting in line

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone

If there's a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone

channelize it..

wow...its bin so long..:) well, during the gap, i came across few things. i noticed that i went through a whole lot of emotions on varying things like frustration about roads, anger over government, irritated with my own pace and performance, happy about few things, relief that few things ended well, brooding over the past, overwhelming sense of gratitude, silly stupid hollywood crush...so many. but inspite of all this, life was rushing over its mundane activities, with no time to even think about what-is-going-on. it was just reeling. but that doesnt mean that those emotions go away,does it? i thought maybe they are all there..somewhere inside.
but what is important is
-"it does not matter what you have, what really matters is what u do with what u have"

what CAN i do about my frustration about the bad roads..? channelize them. true, i wish certain very rude..harsh..impossible things.but i know they are not possible(thanks to my intelligence) but i can channelize them in SOME way!! maybe a post( i am sure it would be a source of entertainment)
what can i do about my brooding over past? channelize it..come back with vengence..perhaps.learn from them..and ensure it dosen't happen.
about my happy times..:) well share it with a friend or simply talk to as many people as possible, because happines just permeates..whether you intend to or not.:)
ofcourse,music is universal channelizer,atleast for me. when am in the brim of anger, either playing keyboard or just listening to music would make a world of a difference.
boredom-something that visits us more often than anything else! well, maybe u can channelize it by getting to know more about people, or new people, or by learning new things-languages,how-stuff-works etc...
:p the sillly stupid hollywood crush..?!? :| ( i dont wanna tel how i am channelizing that.:P but i am.)
its just a simple realization..that all our emotions have sooooo much of potential, and it would be a waste to let it go suppressed.
channelizing them for the better,in constructive or happy ways would do a whole lot good.

random one-liners

27/10
knowing the path is different from walking through it
-matrix
commitment is -you do not give yourself another option

-------
its better to imagine certain things, than to experience them ..

treat others the way u would like to be treated.

people treat you the way you teach them to treat you.

its better not to imagine certain things, when the reality is much much better!

"doctor doctor, it pains if i do like this (say keeping ur hand in a position)"-----THEN DONT DO LIKE THAT!!!

I WILL CELEBRATE LIFE, and be the cause for celebration

epitaph of someone great-"heaven needed celebration, so i went there!"

freedom is never given,its taken.so is it,with responsibility.

live life moment by moment.

23/10
if you love someone, make their life simple.

the most tiring thing to do, is to explain oneself.

i wanna........BUT....

i think i am what i am. i think i am different. i also think i live my life the way i want. do you also partly think the same way ?? well go on, read further.

i wanna wear those different ear-rings. - oh no! what would everyone say?

oh, i am kinda pissed and hurt, that i feel like crying - but they may think i am weak.

i wanna wear that shirt with laces all over -wont my entire gang tease?

i love those pink girly cute skirt -shit! but the whole class would pull my leg

i like dancing atleast shakes.- but i am supposed to be a guy, and play macho.

oh,these coolers are super cool - but they may all think i am a show off.

i really like those miami like chains made of coconut shell - but, can i wear it to that crowd..what would they think

i miss her so much, that i wanna tell her..talk it out, and do what it takes to sort thing out - but ppl may think i am dependent on her.

i like those cargo pants ,with innumerable pockets. -but they may think , i wanna appear as a cool dude.

i wanna do a hop-skip step now, to lighten my spirits. - but the whole college is there, someone might see.

the list is endless.


now tel me, whom are you bothered about. you or others?? are you thinking of what you think of yourself, or what others think about you???


BEING CONSCIOUS OF WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT YOU...that's also called INHIBITION.

pretensions??

oh..m just tired. i don't know. i think i have a few crazy thoughts in my head.THINK! i also think that i m making it up..as if i am thinking.really..its confusing for me myself..to think about what i think..for someone who know me so well for 20 yrs..for all my life-ME..when its confusing for me myself, how would it be for you...lolzz.
my advice to you is,dont read this post.its gonna be crap i think.
sometimes, i think all of us have to hide in this "identity" that we have created for us. behind that veil.. pretensions. all of pretend. not coz we want to.most of the times we dont even realize that we are pretending.its just that..each of us, have the so-called nature,character,attribute or whatever, that we gotta live up to it?? like..someone like him is just not supposed to be short tempered or pissed. or..she is supposed to think differently or poetically alwaz. o really?? since when did u start defining a living being??? i thought only programs can be well-defined. and i even get this doubt, if a person himself can define him, and even if he does , can he stick to his definitions of "this is how i am" always. i honestly feel, that its not possible for people to stick to their definitions. but, coz everyone has given you that "identity" , you gotta pretend..live up to that so-called identity.y? what others may think of you ..? coz others think, this is how i am, and you might have to stick to it..? says who??? i hate to use these words..(coz they are technical :p) are we to stick to prototypes?? yeww!!
but, the fact of the matter is, i guess all of us (including me) do pretend. we do stick to the so-called identity. PRETENSIONS.imagine how it would be, when some friend of yours after all those times you shared with her..you wonder maybe some of them were pretension.she had to live up to the identity that i had built for her..that's sad.
should try and let go of it.atleast for the heck of it..atleast for a short interval of time..should try not to pretend. not to live the identity someone has built for us.even if its the identity you wanted, its not necessary that you alwaz stick to it.its okay to break the prototype once in awhile.its okay.
just be.

my best friend ..!!

hes alwaz been there when i wanted...thank you so much for that. hes always been there to listen to me...he just lets me talk talk talk..sometimes vent out my feelings..actually most of the times.:p hmmm and u know the best part, he hardly ever tells his opinion on what i should do,..where i was wrong..etc etc. that dosent mean he dosent help. hes way too smart. he just lets me talk it out..take my time. allow things to seep in. allow emotions to go away, n reality to be seen and finally discretion to come in..basically he allows me to understand things by myself. he does al this, just by listening...not a word, yet he gives me this feeling, i m there. true..i dont hang out with him much.but hes the first one i go to, when i wanna vent out, when i wanna express my feelings..or anything suppressed. i just go bla-bla-kalmela-lubbyjagi-alakala...n when m done with him, i feel so much at peace. sometimes i think hes this sacrificing creature..coz he comes only when i call him, listens,dosent say a word, n when m done ( i m alright) he just leaves..(maybe ready for the next time i would cal him) i would be with my other frnz..n when i need him, he would be there.great buddy rite? oh..i din mention his name ..did i..?
the one who simply listens..let me vent out my feelings when i need,(I JUST BLAB THINGS OUT) helps me see things for myself..my anytime-anywhere friend-GIBBERISH!!

ps: ppl, i m talking about a process practised, a process called gibberish. not about a person.pls dont embarrass me!

the BAAH state.

there is something called baah state. (belongs to the list of terms that we have coined,our frnz i mean) now..i think this baah state has 2 parts..serious n normal.the normal thing..is when u r completely blank,for god-knows-wat reason..or when u r lost in your own world..dreams etc etc. (which is absolutely a very common thing for me :p) now..this serious baah state..its the feeling u have, after a very strong emotion..positive or negative.positive-like when u r almost ecstatic and blissful..sometimes u dont even know if u are feeling something..i wonder if it 'coz of the time it takes to seep in..that what has happened, has actually happened...or 'coz u r just floating..or u really dont know what to say or feel..its almost a state. the strong emotion can also be a negative one..and you really dont know what to do-maybe coz u cant believe its happening, or u r wondering how,why me...or u just dont knw...ofcourse,if u one of those people who let emotions show, after all the screaming n shouting(blabbering n waste of time basically,coz its of no use) u land up in this state..
hmm,during these times,to be very honest...sometimes there is actually no feeling at all, no feeling-no response to any action..u merely exist..baah.

good VS smart

lolzz..this thing had bin there witout any content??? hahaha...
anyway, nothing much, its just a realization that adding to so many categories/pairs that are prevelant, theres one more- good and smart.
good, we know these ppl, they sometimes give complex to me, the way they are, almost re-incarnation..(ya hard to find,coz with so much of corruption our my head, we look at ppl to the same way:) )i have a teacher that way..mr. adorable!! they can help, and not bother about other person's gratitude, really...its a experience to experience such ppl.
smart, its not the actual word, they are these "chalu" ppl..they know how to get the job done. they get it done somehow!! they are this category, who know how to talk, to whom to talk, whom should be made to talk,when..etc. really smart. this category its easy to find.
its just a realization that, its does not do good, to be either of the extremes. some may think, its enough if i m good. u may be lost in the crowd. havent u heard.."its too bad to be too good all the time" . and as for the smart ones..:) just because they follow the saying " u cant be good to evrybody at all times" it dosent mean..u gotta be good to URSELF ALONE ALL THE TIME. y not be good in a cycle.?? ideally..good smart people, make a world of a difference, to them as well as to others. its just a thought u knw.

HELLO-is it me u r looking for? :)

have you thought about this.think of some of your good or close friends.. now,do you even remember the first time you saw them,or spoke to him/her. even considering you are one of those super memory creatures, and u do remember all that,did u imagine that that person,those talks would lead the relationship to what it is right now.?? my answer is point blank NO!
sometimes when i think of it, .."did i know that she would be such a friend, with whom i would have daily chats,walks ..share laughter ..the first time i spoke to her" NOPE.
"did i know, that we would be wat we are right now, the very first time" NOPE.
infact,its funny. i went with her for some event during my initial sem, now we hardly talk.
i didint even know him, till recently, but today we are so happy, that we can share each others' thoughts as if they are the same.
i couldnt have fought more stupidly with her ..ppl who used to see us, would think we are fighter cocks!! but now..shes my best friend.
its a wonderful life..aint it?? do we discover ppl,frnz and relatives..or its all already there,predefined, just that we come to know of it with time...or BOTH??!!there is so much of magic and wonder in store for us, waiting to be enfolded over time.

u never know, what the next stranger or acquiantance u meet, would turn out to be..u never know what u would turn out to be for anyone...
gonna listen to the song:
"hello..its it me u are looking for...? :)"

providence has its own way :)

providence has its own ways..!! trust me!! i told my friend carter, only that day, that his blog is kinda about his personal stuff, and its amazing the way he puts it..and i can never write about mine.and lo!! here i m, about to write this.:)
this is purely for your entertainment..really.thinking about it i found it funny (thou i m the victim of it:D)
morning was normal.then i had my lab,for which i forgot my observation notebook. and of all the days my teacher asked for it today.and of all hte days he told that those who sont have the NB can go out.!! :) so trying to be a good gal, i went and declared to him, that i didnt bring it..got few lines of poetry from him. u knw wat?? nobody submitted for about half an hour of his asking, then slowly they did, of which he checked about ten books!! me n my big mouth!! power went off in the lab, and i remembered that i had to tell mum about something urgent.so i msged her from lab (which is not allowed to be seen by teachers) and guess what..some person-in charge of the floor,perred thru the glass door, and asked what was i doing.begged him of mercy, and switched my mbl off.its not over. during lunch i had gone with my friend,giving my bad to another frn..and my water bottle quenched the thirst of a nasty monkey!! (grrr...i can tolerate lizards n cockroaches but not that creature) and a group of my wunderful frnz took a video of the whole thing!! later in the parking slot, my keys were not to be found..when i had to go home really soon.the security had it, and tried to make me scared that i have to tel "police uncle"!! finally i reached home going thru some silly traffic..and was engaged in some important running about job!

the point is..(i too dont like sharing my-today) inspite of such a dhamaka-of-a-day, i could help but laugh my head of over a name which would have been better had it been GOLGAPPA instead of watever-that-name-was...or thinking of the guy opposite me who almost fell of his chair..OMG!! or lol over w***h ...lolzzz had so much of laughing that day.
it was only by the end of theday i came up with two things:
-life is like this..there is alot of hustle and bustle, but in between all of it, if i dont get to see and experience the fun and laughter, there's no point.
-did u notice, after every "wth-event" , in dat day, there was a way out, somehow or the other.i can keep thinking.."omg,,it was a bad day..." or i can think "i got outta everything,inspite of everything :) "..it all a matter of choice..wat u choose to see, how u wanna see..life.
cheers.

love ppl the way they understand love.

love ppl the way they understand love.

first of all, i assume my readers are mature enough, to understand that i m not altking about that boy-gal-gf-bf love.pls..theres more to love than just that!
its like this.u like ur dog alot..really lots. and say u like reading too..HP being ur fav. so...would u buy ur dog a book to read??? stupid right?
u would buy the food it likes, and play its fav game..and maybe stroke it more.that sounds sensible.
but..unfortunately, it looks like there are more stupid ppl than sensible people.(no offense) :-!
i dont get this either.for a simple b'day gift, we sit and think, waht the other person would like. what he/she would prefer..but when it comes to expressing our feelings, thoughts, love..why why..do we get it wrong,hard and complicated?!!
my mum would like it, if i give time for her,listening to her future plans (for me) and for her..her dreams etc. just coz i like having coffee with my frn, and think its an expression of love, care..etc.. and i take mum there too, i cant expect her to feel the way i do..i cant expect her to feel loved, especially when i m engrossed in tv when shes sharing ehr dreams!!
i m being stupid!

some of us like roses, some treats, while others movies all this r the various expression of love...it varies from person to person.do it the way they understand.
for god sake, understand that people are different.their liking,tastes,xpectations,xpressions al of it are different.get it right.(ask them if u want) and..love they way the understand love.
(ps: all my post, i want u to think from both the perspective.the hater and the hated. the giver and receiver.)
in this one, just as u understand tha ppl r diff bla bla, it would be great if u also understand, not all of us know this. for many out there..all have the same xpressions, or even better, its their expressions and would showit that way only. y cant we be those mature beings (ahemzz) and understand that they love us anyway.
cheers

and THAT even God cannot change!!

some of you, might think this is heights of arrogance..but, atleast give it a thought.
ya, HE-god is capable of disappointing me so well.sometimes i think he's learnt the art of it. HE can create circumstances such that things go really weird, inspite of all our plans. (like landing up at mr. bean in a gr8 theatre, when we planned for ocean's 13 !!)
HE has control over almost everything..maybe coz hes created almost everything.ALMOST.
almost..coz he cant create my feelings...only i can. he can create the circumstances..the stimuli..etc but my response to them is absolutely in my hands. its my choice..my decision.
HE may make what i thought would be a super success into a fiasco, predicting, my reaction to it. but just for the heck of it, i can surprise HIM...see the good side of it,learn from the incident, remain unruffled..and move on.
HE can create an emotional turmoil or drama, thinking i would fall for it. but i can tell myself "you be you,let me be me".
i am definitely not asking you to cheat or be artificial. i m just putting it in a different way, that you can see the better side of anything and everything, and surprise HIM and YOURSELF.
I AM THE CREATOR OF MY OWN FEELINGS, AND THAT EVEN GOD CANNOT CHANGE.!!
(i had second thoughts on adding this, but considering that winnie herself thought the same, atleast to tell about r frequency i thought i can add.)
u knw what..god reallly loves us. just that we dont understand it, its kinda beyond my comprehension-the love that he has.
i never know the BIG picture yet...(only now i realize y that happened the way it happended)
life is a game, and HE lets u play, the best part is, when u play well enuf..like all dads he lets u win.
winnie-"HE dosent want u to change, he wants u to adapt"

u say it best-when u say ntn at all

i wanted to write really short posts..either one-liners or about 5 lines.thinking about it.lets see.

i heard a song, and got this thought. sometimes, atleast me for sure, when i am at the peak of my anger..i would just stay mum. anger or hurt..or any negative emotion..i would zippp it tight. of course, there's a whole volcano steaming inside..but i would be mum. true, sometimes, silence from the other would kill u..or be more strongly felt than all the noise they made.
people who would understand would understand, ppl who dont, dont.
the other way round is also true, when i m realllllly happy..u know,kinda ecstatic or blissful, or feel really loved (mostly by sandy or some pups) or loving or anything positive, i would stay mum,atleast at that precise moment of happiness.maybe there would be twinkle in the eye or all smiles..but mum.
i guess its true for few of us.


btw, the song that i heard was.."you say it best, when you say nothing at all" :)

:) Express-Expectations-Explictly

i have seen , heard and even experienced this quite often. when someones hurt..wow..the way we show it to the one who hurt us!! so many many expressions...either we just get back-left, right, center ,or snap back,spite back, turn indifferent,..keep mum, make the person invisible...so many expressions.wow.
hmm..whats the reason for being hurt in the first place?? (correct me if m wrong)
coz we expected the person to react in someway,while it turned out to be something else...basically our expectations weren't met.
funny isnt it. the trouble we take, to express the hurt..(the fact that expectations wernt met)..but simply dont bother to express our expectations in the first place..:) really funny ppl. (including me)
how simple life would be, if you could tell before hand..make it clear,these things are ok with me, these things are not. and when i do something like this-i expect something like that from you...(basically setting the ground rules of the transaction of relationship right.c'mon, whether you like it or not, it is a transaction in some or another form :p. after all its all the way u see it.)
oh please...if you think or assume (ass-u-me) that the other person would implicitly understand...SORRY FOR THE DISAPPOINTMENT:SUCH A PERSON IS YET TO BE DESIGNED AND MANUFACTURED!! :)
i have seen it with ppl around me. the ones who made it clear in the beginning itself, have got such wonderful people..or have atleast ended it gracefully.
infact, i knw a frn of mine, who on her bday, wnated someone else to call at midnight. apprently that person was in his blissfull dreams. u knw wat?? she actually called that person,n told"hi.todays my bday,i want u to call me, i think u forgot,so call me bk"..wo!!
theres also the other kind, as soon as u discover, something hurt u, make it explicitly clear, that ,that action or words are not acceptable.this kind too has got it right. but unfortunately i have also seen a big crowd, stuck in between, thinkin people would understand someday, or not correcting things then and there-oh..how much i wish, they got it right.
its really simple-EXPRESS YOUR EXPECTATIONS EXPLICITLY!!
that way, u might land up reducing the expressions of ur hurt.
there's so much more to life..live on.:)EEE

i wonder how, i wonder why..

i heard this long time back ..and it have wondered about it all along.something really nice.

in the entire universe, there area millions of galaxies, of which our galaxy, milky is just one of it. one in million-a speck of dust.

in our galaxy milky way, there are milions of solar systems, of whihc, our solar system is just one..one in the milion-a speck of dust.

in our solar system,considering the size of all the heavenly bodies, our planet earth is a tiny part-a speck of dust.

in our planet earth, considering the billions of people we are, YOU are just one of it. on in the billion-a sppppeeecckk of dust.

now think about yourself,in the enirety of the universe..complete the loop,earth,solar system etc etc...
in all of it, there had never been and there will never be someone like you!!!
wow...what a rarity. you are rare,unique,original..a masterpiece..a master's piece.
what a feeling!!

Where are you rushing to..? whats the hurry?

It just occurred to me…so many times so many of us ,including me, hurry up so much .where exactly are we hurrying. no,m not talking about the next appoinment or class etc. but actually where are we heading??
Say if u are a student..u hurry up for ur class,seminars,(hypothetical in my case) exam prep, exam..ok ok..then wat?? Job..? then? Family..settle? then???
You must be thinking one of the two.
-After settling down,I wont hurry much. Really?? Haven’t we seen our parents and grandparents ? :p
-What are u trying to say??!!

I m trying to say..that ultimately we are all hurrying to our own end.
Yeahhh!! Wth?!!
Honeslty, coz anyway. Ultimately its all gonna end..and the more we hurry, the more closer we go to it.
So RELAX.!!!!
Ya, I understand we cant stop from hurrying for,our profession,daily work..etc. but in between all of it,like the queue in canteen, or any where for that matter ..in those times,of mundane routine..queues ,bus travel,etc u can save some time for urself . Instead of hurrying towards your own end?? (am not sounding cruel..m I?)
A little bit of calmness, a trace of a smile can make a world of a difference..while being in the queue..if not for you,atleast for others looking at you. Hehe.
After all, what is to happen will happen only when it has to happen!!
What is, is..what is not, is not.
Think about it.

a rude awakening!

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i DONT knw :)

certain words and phrases,can have so many meanings..during so many situations to so many people. wow..wat a variety in life.:) :)
this pharse.."i dont knw :) " (with the smile included) can mean so so many things.
but the first thing that strikes me ,is that my friend winnie ,if she asks what are you upto..? have u decided ? or..are u coming or not..? and if u dare say "i dnt knw" snap-would go her face,atleast inside (she wud manage her smile always)

anyway,for so many of us,its almost an ego-shattering experience to say i dont knw-especially if its to a question related to your profession. omg!! i dont know the answer! oooh..!! i gotta accept this in front of so many people..! what would they think of me?? wow..! how much i care about what others think of me.
well,among friends, if someone asks about my opinion about some guy/gal (opposite gender) and i say "well hmm i dont knw..:)" all of us better know for sure,that theres more than a hundered feeling and thought inside me.

after a emotional incident,among friends or any close relation..when i relate about it to my friends or when i think about it to myself(the higher probable thing) again i land up with.."hmm i dont knw what m actually feeling.i 'm supposed to feel this way.my actioins indicated that.thats what i wanted the other person involved to understand.but..erm..thats not what i m feeling..grrr...i dnt knw"

the other way round,when i m listening to someone talk,and either i m forming opinion about the incident, or telling him/her whats actually happened,god knows from where this higher-intelligence comes (that thing which conveniently disappears when i m in the same scenario),the maturity to view things from both ends."again i go.." omg i dnt knw,maybe thats what she thought too,maybe thats why he did it that way"

trust me, i go to this state (the things which my friends call the bah-state) most of the time
- my most favourite thing is..when i really dont knw..n m completely placid about it-the fact,that right now,this moment i just dont knw whats gonna happen,what would happen,the effect of my words,what i had done-none of it-i dnt knw any of it..all i knw is-i dnt knw about anything right now,and i m happy about it. :) s

PERCEPTION-others have it too

change...in case u haven't realized, all of us keep changing ALL the time,in all aspects.the pace of change may be different. but everything about us keeps changing, our likes,our level of patience,tolerance, ppl whom we move with,frnz, dislikes, mannerisms, way of life and especially OUTLOOK to lyf.
now that u gotta know u keep changing,i wanna ask u two things.
have we ever thought, that the other person also keeps changing??
does ur perception of others keep changing?

hmm. most of us are smart. we change our perceptions of the world,coz apparently that's the only way for us to be in the race..if u gotta be on,u gotta get ur perception of life on the move..with the trends.
but what about people? do i even realize that others keep changing too..? do i have the need to realize that..y?? like i care(LIC!!) i m just comfortable believing that they are the same old dumb insensitive person they are,and hell no..it is not possible for them to change.that's..almost inconceivable. is that what we think ?? (hope its not :p)
but you know what.like always,i understand my view, my opinion,things from my side much much better than any other. so,this kinda dawned on me a new thought. its this-
just like how my perception about others don't change or is hard to change (to make myself feel little compassionate)others' perception of me would also not change!! right..? it would be stupid of me to expect that..but how conveniently i choose to be stupid with my expectations,and land up getting frustrated.
think about it? ok..i accept, i had been a moron last few months,by moron i mean it-completly insensitive ,as rude as possible.but then life slapped-it always does. n it shook me.i realized!! m enlightened !! :p then i land up being nice and sweet, but lo-the other turns away.
what goes in my head??
WTH..i actually changed,realized and i wanna make up for it and what i get back in return?? a feeling of invisibility?!.
but whats actually happened??
the other person,(missy) had been hurt,formed her opinions,perceptions about me n left it at that. i cant expect it to change that easily unless i change my perceptions about so many people.
generally,or atleast for me,with my friends since they watch me closely (real close ,my frnz dat too) they know and move along with my changes.but family and others..or people who dont knw or watch me closely..sometimes its so annoying.for eg., when i go out to dine with my family,and i order a dish that i din like the previous time, (coz i went with friends someother time,and liked it then) everybody would ridicule me. (ofcourse i would say LIC n continue wiht what i want) but still,itits annoying.i would feel like tellin-"people,i keep changing you knw!!"
if u r asking me what exactly are u trying to say?? just this-
RENEW YOUR PERCEPTIONS!!
the spectacles with which you see the world,is how the world appears to u.if its scratched, and u land up thinking world is scratched..what can i say??!
don't expect others to renew their perceptions unless you are open to change yours.
how i wish,we don't form perceptions at all...we just accept people as they are.absorb the incident as it is-and LEAVE IT AT THAT. but,i guess thats one of the many many frailty of humans. so i guess we just gotta make the best out of it. :)