pretensions??

oh..m just tired. i don't know. i think i have a few crazy thoughts in my head.THINK! i also think that i m making it up..as if i am thinking.really..its confusing for me myself..to think about what i think..for someone who know me so well for 20 yrs..for all my life-ME..when its confusing for me myself, how would it be for you...lolzz.
my advice to you is,dont read this post.its gonna be crap i think.
sometimes, i think all of us have to hide in this "identity" that we have created for us. behind that veil.. pretensions. all of pretend. not coz we want to.most of the times we dont even realize that we are pretending.its just that..each of us, have the so-called nature,character,attribute or whatever, that we gotta live up to it?? like..someone like him is just not supposed to be short tempered or pissed. or..she is supposed to think differently or poetically alwaz. o really?? since when did u start defining a living being??? i thought only programs can be well-defined. and i even get this doubt, if a person himself can define him, and even if he does , can he stick to his definitions of "this is how i am" always. i honestly feel, that its not possible for people to stick to their definitions. but, coz everyone has given you that "identity" , you gotta pretend..live up to that so-called identity.y? what others may think of you ..? coz others think, this is how i am, and you might have to stick to it..? says who??? i hate to use these words..(coz they are technical :p) are we to stick to prototypes?? yeww!!
but, the fact of the matter is, i guess all of us (including me) do pretend. we do stick to the so-called identity. PRETENSIONS.imagine how it would be, when some friend of yours after all those times you shared with her..you wonder maybe some of them were pretension.she had to live up to the identity that i had built for her..that's sad.
should try and let go of it.atleast for the heck of it..atleast for a short interval of time..should try not to pretend. not to live the identity someone has built for us.even if its the identity you wanted, its not necessary that you alwaz stick to it.its okay to break the prototype once in awhile.its okay.
just be.