Thursday, December 24, 2009

channelize it..

wow...its bin so long..:) well, during the gap, i came across few things. i noticed that i went through a whole lot of emotions on varying things like frustration about roads, anger over government, irritated with my own pace and performance, happy about few things, relief that few things ended well, brooding over the past, overwhelming sense of gratitude, silly stupid hollywood crush...so many. but inspite of all this, life was rushing over its mundane activities, with no time to even think about what-is-going-on. it was just reeling. but that doesnt mean that those emotions go away,does it? i thought maybe they are all there..somewhere inside.
but what is important is
-"it does not matter what you have, what really matters is what u do with what u have"

what CAN i do about my frustration about the bad roads..? channelize them. true, i wish certain very rude..harsh..impossible things.but i know they are not possible(thanks to my intelligence) but i can channelize them in SOME way!! maybe a post( i am sure it would be a source of entertainment)
what can i do about my brooding over past? channelize it..come back with vengence..perhaps.learn from them..and ensure it dosen't happen.
about my happy times..:) well share it with a friend or simply talk to as many people as possible, because happines just permeates..whether you intend to or not.:)
ofcourse,music is universal channelizer,atleast for me. when am in the brim of anger, either playing keyboard or just listening to music would make a world of a difference.
boredom-something that visits us more often than anything else! well, maybe u can channelize it by getting to know more about people, or new people, or by learning new things-languages,how-stuff-works etc...
:p the sillly stupid hollywood crush..?!? :| ( i dont wanna tel how i am channelizing that.:P but i am.)
its just a simple realization..that all our emotions have sooooo much of potential, and it would be a waste to let it go suppressed.
channelizing them for the better,in constructive or happy ways would do a whole lot good.

Friday, October 23, 2009

random one-liners

27/10
knowing the path is different from walking through it
-matrix
commitment is -you do not give yourself another option

-------
its better to imagine certain things, than to experience them ..

treat others the way u would like to be treated.

people treat you the way you teach them to treat you.

its better not to imagine certain things, when the reality is much much better!

"doctor doctor, it pains if i do like this (say keeping ur hand in a position)"-----THEN DONT DO LIKE THAT!!!

I WILL CELEBRATE LIFE, and be the cause for celebration

epitaph of someone great-"heaven needed celebration, so i went there!"

freedom is never given,its taken.so is it,with responsibility.

live life moment by moment.

23/10
if you love someone, make their life simple.

the most tiring thing to do, is to explain oneself.

i wanna........BUT....


i think i am what i am. i think i am different. i also think i live my life the way i want. do you also partly think the same way ?? well go on, read further.

i wanna wear those different ear-rings. - oh no! what would everyone say?

oh, i am kinda pissed and hurt, that i feel like crying - but they may think i am weak.

i wanna wear that shirt with laces all over -wont my entire gang tease?

i love those pink girly cute skirt -shit! but the whole class would pull my leg

i like dancing atleast shakes.- but i am supposed to be a guy, and play macho.

oh,these coolers are super cool - but they may all think i am a show off.

i really like those miami like chains made of coconut shell - but, can i wear it to that crowd..what would they think

i miss her so much, that i wanna tell her..talk it out, and do what it takes to sort thing out - but ppl may think i am dependent on her.

i like those cargo pants ,with innumerable pockets. -but they may think , i wanna appear as a cool dude.

i wanna do a hop-skip step now, to lighten my spirits. - but the whole college is there, someone might see.

the list is endless.


now tel me, whom are you bothered about. you or others?? are you thinking of what you think of yourself, or what others think about you???


BEING CONSCIOUS OF WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT YOU...that's also called INHIBITION.

pretensions??

oh..m just tired. i don't know. i think i have a few crazy thoughts in my head.THINK! i also think that i m making it up..as if i am thinking.really..its confusing for me myself..to think about what i think..for someone who know me so well for 20 yrs..for all my life-ME..when its confusing for me myself, how would it be for you...lolzz.
my advice to you is,dont read this post.its gonna be crap i think.
sometimes, i think all of us have to hide in this "identity" that we have created for us. behind that veil.. pretensions. all of pretend. not coz we want to.most of the times we dont even realize that we are pretending.its just that..each of us, have the so-called nature,character,attribute or whatever, that we gotta live up to it?? like..someone like him is just not supposed to be short tempered or pissed. or..she is supposed to think differently or poetically alwaz. o really?? since when did u start defining a living being??? i thought only programs can be well-defined. and i even get this doubt, if a person himself can define him, and even if he does , can he stick to his definitions of "this is how i am" always. i honestly feel, that its not possible for people to stick to their definitions. but, coz everyone has given you that "identity" , you gotta pretend..live up to that so-called identity.y? what others may think of you ..? coz others think, this is how i am, and you might have to stick to it..? says who??? i hate to use these words..(coz they are technical :p) are we to stick to prototypes?? yeww!!
but, the fact of the matter is, i guess all of us (including me) do pretend. we do stick to the so-called identity. PRETENSIONS.imagine how it would be, when some friend of yours after all those times you shared with her..you wonder maybe some of them were pretension.she had to live up to the identity that i had built for her..that's sad.
should try and let go of it.atleast for the heck of it..atleast for a short interval of time..should try not to pretend. not to live the identity someone has built for us.even if its the identity you wanted, its not necessary that you alwaz stick to it.its okay to break the prototype once in awhile.its okay.
just be.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

my best friend ..!!


hes alwaz been there when i wanted...thank you so much for that. hes always been there to listen to me...he just lets me talk talk talk..sometimes vent out my feelings..actually most of the times.:p hmmm and u know the best part, he hardly ever tells his opinion on what i should do,..where i was wrong..etc etc. that dosent mean he dosent help. hes way too smart. he just lets me talk it out..take my time. allow things to seep in. allow emotions to go away, n reality to be seen and finally discretion to come in..basically he allows me to understand things by myself. he does al this, just by listening...not a word, yet he gives me this feeling, i m there. true..i dont hang out with him much.but hes the first one i go to, when i wanna vent out, when i wanna express my feelings..or anything suppressed. i just go bla-bla-kalmela-lubbyjagi-alakala...n when m done with him, i feel so much at peace. sometimes i think hes this sacrificing creature..coz he comes only when i call him, listens,dosent say a word, n when m done ( i m alright) he just leaves..(maybe ready for the next time i would cal him) i would be with my other frnz..n when i need him, he would be there.great buddy rite? oh..i din mention his name ..did i..?
the one who simply listens..let me vent out my feelings when i need,(I JUST BLAB THINGS OUT) helps me see things for myself..my anytime-anywhere friend-GIBBERISH!!

ps: ppl, i m talking about a process practised, a process called gibberish. not about a person.pls dont embarrass me!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

the BAAH state.

there is something called baah state. (belongs to the list of terms that we have coined,our frnz i mean) now..i think this baah state has 2 parts..serious n normal.the normal thing..is when u r completely blank,for god-knows-wat reason..or when u r lost in your own world..dreams etc etc. (which is absolutely a very common thing for me :p) now..this serious baah state..its the feeling u have, after a very strong emotion..positive or negative.positive-like when u r almost ecstatic and blissful..sometimes u dont even know if u are feeling something..i wonder if it 'coz of the time it takes to seep in..that what has happened, has actually happened...or 'coz u r just floating..or u really dont know what to say or feel..its almost a state. the strong emotion can also be a negative one..and you really dont know what to do-maybe coz u cant believe its happening, or u r wondering how,why me...or u just dont knw...ofcourse,if u one of those people who let emotions show, after all the screaming n shouting(blabbering n waste of time basically,coz its of no use) u land up in this state..
hmm,during these times,to be very honest...sometimes there is actually no feeling at all, no feeling-no response to any action..u merely exist..baah.

good VS smart

lolzz..this thing had bin there witout any content??? hahaha...
anyway, nothing much, its just a realization that adding to so many categories/pairs that are prevelant, theres one more- good and smart.
good, we know these ppl, they sometimes give complex to me, the way they are, almost re-incarnation..(ya hard to find,coz with so much of corruption our my head, we look at ppl to the same way:) )i have a teacher that way..mr. adorable!! they can help, and not bother about other person's gratitude, really...its a experience to experience such ppl.
smart, its not the actual word, they are these "chalu" ppl..they know how to get the job done. they get it done somehow!! they are this category, who know how to talk, to whom to talk, whom should be made to talk,when..etc. really smart. this category its easy to find.
its just a realization that, its does not do good, to be either of the extremes. some may think, its enough if i m good. u may be lost in the crowd. havent u heard.."its too bad to be too good all the time" . and as for the smart ones..:) just because they follow the saying " u cant be good to evrybody at all times" it dosent mean..u gotta be good to URSELF ALONE ALL THE TIME. y not be good in a cycle.?? ideally..good smart people, make a world of a difference, to them as well as to others. its just a thought u knw.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

HELLO-is it me u r looking for? :)


have you thought about this.think of some of your good or close friends.. now,do you even remember the first time you saw them,or spoke to him/her. even considering you are one of those super memory creatures, and u do remember all that,did u imagine that that person,those talks would lead the relationship to what it is right now.?? my answer is point blank NO!
sometimes when i think of it, .."did i know that she would be such a friend, with whom i would have daily chats,walks ..share laughter ..the first time i spoke to her" NOPE.
"did i know, that we would be wat we are right now, the very first time" NOPE.
infact,its funny. i went with her for some event during my initial sem, now we hardly talk.
i didint even know him, till recently, but today we are so happy, that we can share each others' thoughts as if they are the same.
i couldnt have fought more stupidly with her ..ppl who used to see us, would think we are fighter cocks!! but now..shes my best friend.
its a wonderful life..aint it?? do we discover ppl,frnz and relatives..or its all already there,predefined, just that we come to know of it with time...or BOTH??!!there is so much of magic and wonder in store for us, waiting to be enfolded over time.

u never know, what the next stranger or acquiantance u meet, would turn out to be..u never know what u would turn out to be for anyone...
gonna listen to the song:
"hello..its it me u are looking for...? :)"

providence has its own way :)

providence has its own ways..!! trust me!! i told my friend carter, only that day, that his blog is kinda about his personal stuff, and its amazing the way he puts it..and i can never write about mine.and lo!! here i m, about to write this.:)
this is purely for your entertainment..really.thinking about it i found it funny (thou i m the victim of it:D)
morning was normal.then i had my lab,for which i forgot my observation notebook. and of all the days my teacher asked for it today.and of all hte days he told that those who sont have the NB can go out.!! :) so trying to be a good gal, i went and declared to him, that i didnt bring it..got few lines of poetry from him. u knw wat?? nobody submitted for about half an hour of his asking, then slowly they did, of which he checked about ten books!! me n my big mouth!! power went off in the lab, and i remembered that i had to tell mum about something urgent.so i msged her from lab (which is not allowed to be seen by teachers) and guess what..some person-in charge of the floor,perred thru the glass door, and asked what was i doing.begged him of mercy, and switched my mbl off.its not over. during lunch i had gone with my friend,giving my bad to another frn..and my water bottle quenched the thirst of a nasty monkey!! (grrr...i can tolerate lizards n cockroaches but not that creature) and a group of my wunderful frnz took a video of the whole thing!! later in the parking slot, my keys were not to be found..when i had to go home really soon.the security had it, and tried to make me scared that i have to tel "police uncle"!! finally i reached home going thru some silly traffic..and was engaged in some important running about job!

the point is..(i too dont like sharing my-today) inspite of such a dhamaka-of-a-day, i could help but laugh my head of over a name which would have been better had it been GOLGAPPA instead of watever-that-name-was...or thinking of the guy opposite me who almost fell of his chair..OMG!! or lol over w***h ...lolzzz had so much of laughing that day.
it was only by the end of theday i came up with two things:
-life is like this..there is alot of hustle and bustle, but in between all of it, if i dont get to see and experience the fun and laughter, there's no point.
-did u notice, after every "wth-event" , in dat day, there was a way out, somehow or the other.i can keep thinking.."omg,,it was a bad day..." or i can think "i got outta everything,inspite of everything :) "..it all a matter of choice..wat u choose to see, how u wanna see..life.
cheers.

Friday, October 2, 2009

love ppl the way they understand love.


love ppl the way they understand love.

first of all, i assume my readers are mature enough, to understand that i m not altking about that boy-gal-gf-bf love.pls..theres more to love than just that!
its like this.u like ur dog alot..really lots. and say u like reading too..HP being ur fav. so...would u buy ur dog a book to read??? stupid right?
u would buy the food it likes, and play its fav game..and maybe stroke it more.that sounds sensible.
but..unfortunately, it looks like there are more stupid ppl than sensible people.(no offense) :-!
i dont get this either.for a simple b'day gift, we sit and think, waht the other person would like. what he/she would prefer..but when it comes to expressing our feelings, thoughts, love..why why..do we get it wrong,hard and complicated?!!
my mum would like it, if i give time for her,listening to her future plans (for me) and for her..her dreams etc. just coz i like having coffee with my frn, and think its an expression of love, care..etc.. and i take mum there too, i cant expect her to feel the way i do..i cant expect her to feel loved, especially when i m engrossed in tv when shes sharing ehr dreams!!
i m being stupid!

some of us like roses, some treats, while others movies all this r the various expression of love...it varies from person to person.do it the way they understand.
for god sake, understand that people are different.their liking,tastes,xpectations,xpressions al of it are different.get it right.(ask them if u want) and..love they way the understand love.
(ps: all my post, i want u to think from both the perspective.the hater and the hated. the giver and receiver.)
in this one, just as u understand tha ppl r diff bla bla, it would be great if u also understand, not all of us know this. for many out there..all have the same xpressions, or even better, its their expressions and would showit that way only. y cant we be those mature beings (ahemzz) and understand that they love us anyway.
cheers

and THAT even God cannot change!!

some of you, might think this is heights of arrogance..but, atleast give it a thought.
ya, HE-god is capable of disappointing me so well.sometimes i think he's learnt the art of it. HE can create circumstances such that things go really weird, inspite of all our plans. (like landing up at mr. bean in a gr8 theatre, when we planned for ocean's 13 !!)
HE has control over almost everything..maybe coz hes created almost everything.ALMOST.
almost..coz he cant create my feelings...only i can. he can create the circumstances..the stimuli..etc but my response to them is absolutely in my hands. its my choice..my decision.
HE may make what i thought would be a super success into a fiasco, predicting, my reaction to it. but just for the heck of it, i can surprise HIM...see the good side of it,learn from the incident, remain unruffled..and move on.
HE can create an emotional turmoil or drama, thinking i would fall for it. but i can tell myself "you be you,let me be me".
i am definitely not asking you to cheat or be artificial. i m just putting it in a different way, that you can see the better side of anything and everything, and surprise HIM and YOURSELF.
I AM THE CREATOR OF MY OWN FEELINGS, AND THAT EVEN GOD CANNOT CHANGE.!!
(i had second thoughts on adding this, but considering that winnie herself thought the same, atleast to tell about r frequency i thought i can add.)
u knw what..god reallly loves us. just that we dont understand it, its kinda beyond my comprehension-the love that he has.
i never know the BIG picture yet...(only now i realize y that happened the way it happended)
life is a game, and HE lets u play, the best part is, when u play well enuf..like all dads he lets u win.
winnie-"HE dosent want u to change, he wants u to adapt"

u say it best-when u say ntn at all

i wanted to write really short posts..either one-liners or about 5 lines.thinking about it.lets see.

i heard a song, and got this thought. sometimes, atleast me for sure, when i am at the peak of my anger..i would just stay mum. anger or hurt..or any negative emotion..i would zippp it tight. of course, there's a whole volcano steaming inside..but i would be mum. true, sometimes, silence from the other would kill u..or be more strongly felt than all the noise they made.
people who would understand would understand, ppl who dont, dont.
the other way round is also true, when i m realllllly happy..u know,kinda ecstatic or blissful, or feel really loved (mostly by sandy or some pups) or loving or anything positive, i would stay mum,atleast at that precise moment of happiness.maybe there would be twinkle in the eye or all smiles..but mum.
i guess its true for few of us.


btw, the song that i heard was.."you say it best, when you say nothing at all" :)

:) Express-Expectations-Explictly


i have seen , heard and even experienced this quite often. when someones hurt..wow..the way we show it to the one who hurt us!! so many many expressions...either we just get back-left, right, center ,or snap back,spite back, turn indifferent,..keep mum, make the person invisible...so many expressions.wow.
hmm..whats the reason for being hurt in the first place?? (correct me if m wrong)
coz we expected the person to react in someway,while it turned out to be something else...basically our expectations weren't met.
funny isnt it. the trouble we take, to express the hurt..(the fact that expectations wernt met)..but simply dont bother to express our expectations in the first place..:) really funny ppl. (including me)
how simple life would be, if you could tell before hand..make it clear,these things are ok with me, these things are not. and when i do something like this-i expect something like that from you...(basically setting the ground rules of the transaction of relationship right.c'mon, whether you like it or not, it is a transaction in some or another form :p. after all its all the way u see it.)
oh please...if you think or assume (ass-u-me) that the other person would implicitly understand...SORRY FOR THE DISAPPOINTMENT:SUCH A PERSON IS YET TO BE DESIGNED AND MANUFACTURED!! :)
i have seen it with ppl around me. the ones who made it clear in the beginning itself, have got such wonderful people..or have atleast ended it gracefully.
infact, i knw a frn of mine, who on her bday, wnated someone else to call at midnight. apprently that person was in his blissfull dreams. u knw wat?? she actually called that person,n told"hi.todays my bday,i want u to call me, i think u forgot,so call me bk"..wo!!
theres also the other kind, as soon as u discover, something hurt u, make it explicitly clear, that ,that action or words are not acceptable.this kind too has got it right. but unfortunately i have also seen a big crowd, stuck in between, thinkin people would understand someday, or not correcting things then and there-oh..how much i wish, they got it right.
its really simple-EXPRESS YOUR EXPECTATIONS EXPLICITLY!!
that way, u might land up reducing the expressions of ur hurt.
there's so much more to life..live on.:)EEE

Thursday, October 1, 2009

i wonder how, i wonder why..


i heard this long time back ..and it have wondered about it all along.something really nice.

in the entire universe, there area millions of galaxies, of which our galaxy, milky is just one of it. one in million-a speck of dust.

in our galaxy milky way, there are milions of solar systems, of whihc, our solar system is just one..one in the milion-a speck of dust.

in our solar system,considering the size of all the heavenly bodies, our planet earth is a tiny part-a speck of dust.

in our planet earth, considering the billions of people we are, YOU are just one of it. on in the billion-a sppppeeecckk of dust.

now think about yourself,in the enirety of the universe..complete the loop,earth,solar system etc etc...
in all of it, there had never been and there will never be someone like you!!!
wow...what a rarity. you are rare,unique,original..a masterpiece..a master's piece.
what a feeling!!

Where are you rushing to..? whats the hurry?




It just occurred to me…so many times so many of us ,including me, hurry up so much .where exactly are we hurrying. no,m not talking about the next appoinment or class etc. but actually where are we heading??
Say if u are a student..u hurry up for ur class,seminars,(hypothetical in my case) exam prep, exam..ok ok..then wat?? Job..? then? Family..settle? then???
You must be thinking one of the two.
-After settling down,I wont hurry much. Really?? Haven’t we seen our parents and grandparents ? :p
-What are u trying to say??!!

I m trying to say..that ultimately we are all hurrying to our own end.
Yeahhh!! Wth?!!
Honeslty, coz anyway. Ultimately its all gonna end..and the more we hurry, the more closer we go to it.
So RELAX.!!!!
Ya, I understand we cant stop from hurrying for,our profession,daily work..etc. but in between all of it,like the queue in canteen, or any where for that matter ..in those times,of mundane routine..queues ,bus travel,etc u can save some time for urself . Instead of hurrying towards your own end?? (am not sounding cruel..m I?)
A little bit of calmness, a trace of a smile can make a world of a difference..while being in the queue..if not for you,atleast for others looking at you. Hehe.
After all, what is to happen will happen only when it has to happen!!
What is, is..what is not, is not.
Think about it.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

a rude awakening!



personal.well that means,i write it for myself.i write it 'coz apparently blog happens to be the only thing to which i can vent it out. i really dont care what others think about it.in fact i would be happy if u dont read it.:) (then y at all wirte it? u may ask.i told u.its the only way can vent my thoughts.this topic.)its for me,and me alone.
well, i m someone who give people their space in relationships.
i believe its the space between the two walls,that would help the roof to be held high.
i am happy giving people their spaces coz i like mine too. but apparently,erm..:P at every stage,knowingly or unknowingly, i have one or two people, where i take the right..its like i consider them the same way as i consider myself-for both good and bad.to put it,i used to think,at every stage,i have this blow-up kinda tent na..which (i assumed)is one tent-one material which is blown up into a tent.
but,recently,i was told..rather awakened rudely, that even if its that blow-up tent,it needs air in between for it to be a tent.:) on retrospection,i realized that in the recent past, i have had this thing put up in front of me before-the thing that ppl need space...just that i refused to wake up then,and chose to wake up now:)
so..everybody (no exceptions) need their own space.
i should remember that.

anyways,thank you for the awakening-it might have been rude,but nevertheless its still an awakening. now that i woke up :) :)

Friday, September 18, 2009

i DONT knw :)

certain words and phrases,can have so many meanings..during so many situations to so many people. wow..wat a variety in life.:) :)
this pharse.."i dont knw :) " (with the smile included) can mean so so many things.
but the first thing that strikes me ,is that my friend winnie ,if she asks what are you upto..? have u decided ? or..are u coming or not..? and if u dare say "i dnt knw" snap-would go her face,atleast inside (she wud manage her smile always)

anyway,for so many of us,its almost an ego-shattering experience to say i dont knw-especially if its to a question related to your profession. omg!! i dont know the answer! oooh..!! i gotta accept this in front of so many people..! what would they think of me?? wow..! how much i care about what others think of me.
well,among friends, if someone asks about my opinion about some guy/gal (opposite gender) and i say "well hmm i dont knw..:)" all of us better know for sure,that theres more than a hundered feeling and thought inside me.

after a emotional incident,among friends or any close relation..when i relate about it to my friends or when i think about it to myself(the higher probable thing) again i land up with.."hmm i dont knw what m actually feeling.i 'm supposed to feel this way.my actioins indicated that.thats what i wanted the other person involved to understand.but..erm..thats not what i m feeling..grrr...i dnt knw"

the other way round,when i m listening to someone talk,and either i m forming opinion about the incident, or telling him/her whats actually happened,god knows from where this higher-intelligence comes (that thing which conveniently disappears when i m in the same scenario),the maturity to view things from both ends."again i go.." omg i dnt knw,maybe thats what she thought too,maybe thats why he did it that way"

trust me, i go to this state (the things which my friends call the bah-state) most of the time
- my most favourite thing is..when i really dont knw..n m completely placid about it-the fact,that right now,this moment i just dont knw whats gonna happen,what would happen,the effect of my words,what i had done-none of it-i dnt knw any of it..all i knw is-i dnt knw about anything right now,and i m happy about it. :) s

PERCEPTION-others have it too


change...in case u haven't realized, all of us keep changing ALL the time,in all aspects.the pace of change may be different. but everything about us keeps changing, our likes,our level of patience,tolerance, ppl whom we move with,frnz, dislikes, mannerisms, way of life and especially OUTLOOK to lyf.
now that u gotta know u keep changing,i wanna ask u two things.
have we ever thought, that the other person also keeps changing??
does ur perception of others keep changing?

hmm. most of us are smart. we change our perceptions of the world,coz apparently that's the only way for us to be in the race..if u gotta be on,u gotta get ur perception of life on the move..with the trends.
but what about people? do i even realize that others keep changing too..? do i have the need to realize that..y?? like i care(LIC!!) i m just comfortable believing that they are the same old dumb insensitive person they are,and hell no..it is not possible for them to change.that's..almost inconceivable. is that what we think ?? (hope its not :p)
but you know what.like always,i understand my view, my opinion,things from my side much much better than any other. so,this kinda dawned on me a new thought. its this-
just like how my perception about others don't change or is hard to change (to make myself feel little compassionate)others' perception of me would also not change!! right..? it would be stupid of me to expect that..but how conveniently i choose to be stupid with my expectations,and land up getting frustrated.
think about it? ok..i accept, i had been a moron last few months,by moron i mean it-completly insensitive ,as rude as possible.but then life slapped-it always does. n it shook me.i realized!! m enlightened !! :p then i land up being nice and sweet, but lo-the other turns away.
what goes in my head??
WTH..i actually changed,realized and i wanna make up for it and what i get back in return?? a feeling of invisibility?!.
but whats actually happened??
the other person,(missy) had been hurt,formed her opinions,perceptions about me n left it at that. i cant expect it to change that easily unless i change my perceptions about so many people.
generally,or atleast for me,with my friends since they watch me closely (real close ,my frnz dat too) they know and move along with my changes.but family and others..or people who dont knw or watch me closely..sometimes its so annoying.for eg., when i go out to dine with my family,and i order a dish that i din like the previous time, (coz i went with friends someother time,and liked it then) everybody would ridicule me. (ofcourse i would say LIC n continue wiht what i want) but still,itits annoying.i would feel like tellin-"people,i keep changing you knw!!"
if u r asking me what exactly are u trying to say?? just this-
RENEW YOUR PERCEPTIONS!!
the spectacles with which you see the world,is how the world appears to u.if its scratched, and u land up thinking world is scratched..what can i say??!
don't expect others to renew their perceptions unless you are open to change yours.
how i wish,we don't form perceptions at all...we just accept people as they are.absorb the incident as it is-and LEAVE IT AT THAT. but,i guess thats one of the many many frailty of humans. so i guess we just gotta make the best out of it. :)

Thursday, September 17, 2009

HeRe we GO agaiN....


personal post..i will explain what exactly i mean by that,in the next.m running short of time.but..most of us wud be able to relate to that.sometimes,life is like that..COLUMBUS ride..or the tora-tora..any one of those things...
when i just convinced myself,that its done and thru'..i got nothing more to do about it..talked myself to believe the good side of the bad (some self-falsification) when i convince myself,till now it was storm but now..its gonna be calm(hey does that rhyme?? :) ) lo...life says.."oii..excuse me!! hang on babes..! u cant make life appear so simple. u cant possibly assume that things would be as falsely-normal as that.it not over mate..so HERE we go again...
the ride begins again...
one of my fav songs go..
"here we are again..circles never end."

Monday, September 14, 2009

the BEST plum EVER...


i happened to read this somewhere and i liked it.thought i would share it along woth my thought with you.
the imagination is little funny,but..its ok.it seems there was this best plum. but someone came upto it and said,"o u are a plum,but i like banana" so the plum changed itself into a banana (mind you,it was the BEST plum ever,now its just a banana). few months later,the banana lover came and said,"my taste has changed.i like oranges now." so the plum-turned-banana changed itself into an orange. then the present orange lover said "u are being too sour". so the plum-turned-banana-turned-orange turned itself into an apple.but now,the banana lover-turned orange -lover left the newly turned orange and went in search of grapes.
the apple now said,listening to so many changing opinions,i kept changing myself so many times that i no more no who i actually am. i might as well could have been the best plum ever,and waited for the plum-lover to come.
hmm..
has this been your story too? so many times,we dont mind pretending to be someone else just for the sake of getting along,with the gang,with the crowd. is it actually so hard to stand up for what you actually are..? is it so difficult to proclaim,this is me and this is how i am.these are my likes,and these are my dislikes.i am what i am.weird right? the whole magic of life,relationship ..everything for that matter,i appreciating that uniqueness in you and enjoying the unique person that you are. how easily,sometimes we get the most simple straight-foward things of life,all wrong.
there is a world for each one of us,which would accept you as you are,which would appreciate you as you are. find that world..or maybe that world will find you.and only that is your world.

COSTless LuXuRies






finallly...i wanted to write this for quite sometime. something which would alwaz bring a smile on my face.:)
COSTLESS LUXURIES OF LIFE...
u knw,to simply feel happy, to enjoy,u actually dnt need much.feww small wonders are enough.of course,all of us knw this, and agree to it. but,sometimes,when things arent gng the way u want,or the way it can go..its such thoughts which help one, to move on..i use these costless luxuries in two ways..one,i just think of them n land up with a smile.two..esp., if its traffic in the rain,waiting for hotel seat,etc i would think of how i could turn this into a costless luxury or what if this was a costless luxury.
beating about the bush?? well,the whole purpose of reading/writing this post is satisfied if after reading the list down here,u landed up with the tiniest of smiles!!

RAIIIINNNNN!!! :):)

getting wet in the rain. a walk in the terrace or a calm road. dancing in the rain. a walk with ur loved one or friend,under one umbrella. while walking with ur sibling,when it rains suddenly( assuming u hvae the umbrella) fighting for it,and finally when u win,oushing it away and getting wet.

sipping coffee n watching the rain through the window. watching strret kids jump in every puddle possible. get inspired to make a paper boat,but to realize u forgot how to make one.

BEACH :)
have u ever walked in the beach when it drizzles,omg!! midnight at beach! early morning sunrise in the beach..to watch that red ball come out..majestic magic.gazing at the moon in the beach. lying on mum's lap in the beach..listening to the waves.playing like as if u have turned mad,falling all over the sand. bajji at beach.
alone at the beach(time for retrospection) watching kids play in the beach.

COFFEE.....MMM
coffee with a friend (whether u meet everyday or those rare meets)..chatting endlessly about nothing,simply nothing. getting wet in the rain,with frnz or loved ones and running to the near by coffee shop and as soon as u sit down.laugh like a fool. sipping coffee alone,wishing it would never end,watching the beach..or just sipping.
FRIEND(S)
walk with a friend..wum u r meeting after awhile. walk with ur gang,fighting to talk or to be heard first. pillow fights with friends.


NIGHT SKY
star gazing with cousins. sacring the younger ones with hoots but getting scared urself secretly.
the list is just endless..hope u shared a smile.
ps:guess it show in ur writing when u r in a bad mood.i din knw that ;)

Thursday, September 10, 2009

THAT that MaTtEr,THERE there leave


that title sounds like the most local form of english, in fact auto-drivers would talk better..but,its an insight,atleast to me!!
i also have a feeling that it would contradict( or make me clarify to you) one of my future posts on living every moment to the fullest!!
anyway,too much of prelude for the post,let me start off.
well,all of us confront so many situations in a day,meet various people..and all of it,has its own uniqueness.be it the situations,or the people who are part of the situation.obviously these things kindle different emotions in us.in fact,the same situation,would make me smile one day, and would irritate me another day. this phenomenon itself makes me wonder...(the phenomenon that a same situation,to the same person,can make her smile one time , while irritate another time..but that i guess is not the focus of this post :p )
also,when so many people are involved,there is bound to be a confrontation of personal ego(i HATE that word.that thing..ego!! yeww!! ) i m definitely not gonna be impractical enough to tell, to drop ego,that would transform us into mother teresa..no way!! but,maybe it is possible for us to think about-not carrying the ego forever and ever(come on,this is not a fairy tale..even that says "they lived happily ever after",not egoistic ever after!!)
perhaps,heres where comes our title-"that that matter there there leave" :)
well,i get ego involved with someone say mr.perfect,okay..i snap,he snaps back (ya thats natural go on..) i spite,he spites back,i almost feel like saying, its a waste of time talking to jerks like you,but keep it to myself ( i am wise u see:) ) one of us, or both reach the threshold and quit. blank! we get out of the place. maybe, each other would turn invisible for the day. ya..all of us know this..its one of those i-wanna-get-out-of-this-place,i-am-pissed-don't-talk-to me days!! all this is routine (can you believe it..? routime? but its true.)
but what would be ugly is,if you actually carry this hurt or ego even during the next meet!!
thats,reallllllly ugly. that that matter there there leave.!! its happened ages back (even if its a single day,ITS 24 HOURS...1440 MINS,THATS AGES,atleast for the amount of math i have done)

i will put it in a few ways.
first for that same ego of ours.do you know,it would be so awkward for the other person,if you could talk to him as if nothing had happened. (mr.perfect would actually be embarassed about himself,and maybe his pettiness) that's one of the things ego wanted to do in the first place. didnt it?
treat others the way you want to be treated.(sometimes i wish i hadnt come across this u know) that line,that one line, would most of the times change my actions(ruin my plan,rehersal..of the list of things that would hurt the other)
this is logic,pure logic.life is to live,and its to live happily!! whats the point,in carrying foward things of past,which are absolutely useless.

hmm,i have been holding grudges..FOOLISHLY,and paid its price.few incidents where THAT THAT MATTER ALWAYZ WITH ME,cost me 2 yrs of no-talking,or no talking forever.
i told you,i ham becoming wise.:)

LIFE IS SHORT.KISS(KEEP IT SIMPLE AND SWEET). LEAVE SMALL THINGS SMALL.YESTERDAY WAS OVER YESTERDAY.
i am blessed that i have a few friends,who are like this..ted,winnie..ofcourse i do have friends who helo me practise all this too :) we need both.
meet you soon.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

cheap thrills in lyf!

Cheap Thrills in life :):)

Hehe...i really believe all of us have both the devil and the angel within us.and let me be honest with you,sometimes i really enjoy being the devil (come on,dont u get bored when you continuously have to be someone you are not :P kiddin!! )
its these cheap thrills in lyf,which make me laugh at myself.things like,


singing the most hated song to ur frn or sibling.
calling ur frn r siblings with the name they hate,
tellin gur loved ones,that its one of their spl frn on phone,when it turns out to be just the opposite.
making that one noise,which wud freak them out!!
describe about the date they wud be having with their most -disgusted acquaintance ( i luv to do this with my bro n mum)
to keep reminding ur loved ones,of the embarassing moment which happened that day,which he/she is hoping to forget. :p
teasing ur loved ones,and giving them their reactions,which means they are completely clueless on waht to do abt the whole thing!
laughing out uncontrollably,when someone falls.! :p (thou u really feel sorry for them inside! )

hehe...the list actually goes on..i will update it,with evrything that i land up doin in the daz to cum !!

Friday, August 21, 2009

LIFE-ITS JUST A LEELA..

I have no idea whatsoever on what I 'm gonna write, where m gonna start, and where I 'm gonna end. And I solemnly swear that I 'm up to no good in writing. :).well, now that I have made my declarations, I guess I can virtually blab whatever I want :) yeah me!!..

Hmm..have u ever wondered or got this thought that it’s all a drama..life..I mean, the whole thing is a sequence of dramas. well I have. when I come to think of it, nothing is real..nothing is the actual reality..be it the people or the circumstances or our reactions and responses to them..all of it, its all surreal. sometimes I get this feeling that we are playing a drama within a drama, and the whole thing..the entire world is a drama being watched by the One above. funny, right? maybe weird.

I have also observed a weirdly funny thing about myself. Why about myself..? coz I can talk only on my authority. I needn't bother about the mistakes I make about my life. I can happily make them, correct them and learn from them IF I WANT to...or just let it pass by. Anyway, that weirdly funny thing that I was talking about..:)...most of the times...I jus give a projection of myself..(I believe most of us do that..:P) but apparently the projection I give varies according to the people I relate with. I was just thinking how it must have all started and I came up with this. when I started relating, say to my friend Ted, she has bought the idea that I 'm funny, dont-care-about-what- u say, insensitive, happy gal.. maybe I am, maybe I am not. but that’s her opinion of me, so be it..i would project myself that way to u. a Buddhist saying goes "JO THO MOTH JO THO POTH" it means “how much ever be the number of people, so many possible ways.” so each of my friends have their own image of me, and hence I have so many projections of myself. "then u must have lost yourself,your identity"...u may wonder. I dont agree to it coz of the simple reason, I haven’t forgotten who I actually am. It’s just that I am not letting people know who I actually am. I am consciously letting people think whatever they wanna think about me. but I keep letting myself know the reality of myself.

One more thing, I just love this new thought.

EXPERIENCE THE EXPERIENCE OF THE EXPERIENCE!
It’s not just a fuzzy statement. It’s a game, and a way to know oneself.well I wanna explain the statement-jus for the heck of it!!
u are reading this post-that’s the experience we are talking about in the right most part of the sentence.
as u read,you could have though-"omg what is she trying to say!!" –that’s the experience in the middle of the sentence.
all of us know or are aware till this.
but, do you realize, that you can put yourself apart, away from the two experiences mentioned above, and just WATCH the whole thing. I 'm trying to say, you can take yourself(the so-called yourself, 'coz once you take away, its not u..;)..) away from yourself and watch the whole thing as if you are a third person..as if something is just happening..happening,but not to you.

what’s the point?! you may wonder. I told you, it’s a game. try it just for the heck of it, during work, during class..it might boggle you. well there is also this side effect, it gets you to know yourself, to realize who you actually are. and it just makes you live in THE present continuous, not bringing your past experience and thereby blinding yourself to the newness of that moment!!

it helps you to live life-MOMENT BY MOMENT...being AWARE of yourself. trust me ,you would discover oceans about you.

Until we meet again,
LIFE-ITS JUST A LEELA-PLAY ON....
-oceanika